Study Hall
Study Hall

(Aide aux devoirs)
 
AccueilFAQS'enregistrerConnexion

Partagez | 
 

 commentaire l'histoire de Pi chap 5

Voir le sujet précédent Voir le sujet suivant Aller en bas 
AuteurMessage
rowenna



Nombre de messages : 71
Date d'inscription : 20/02/2006

MessageSujet: commentaire l'histoire de Pi chap 5   Mar 9 Déc - 14:24

Bonjour Doudou,
J'ai un autre commentaire à faire sur Life of pi: le chapitre 5 de "I spend my last year at ST.Joseph's School" à la fin du chapitre.
La note du dernier commentaire n'a pas été tres bonne, car il faut donner beaucoup d'exemples et répéter ce qu'a dit la prof en cours, ce que j'ai fait dans ce commentaire.
Il n'y a donc pas a modifé la structure mais par contre tu pourrais corriger mes fautes de grammaires s'il te plaît ?

Merci d'avance

Voici mon commentaire :


This book « Life of Pi » was written by Yann Martel .He was born in 1963 in Salamanca (Spain).His parents were canadian.They first study at university in Spain. Later, they worked in the canadian foreign service.Yann Martel travelled with his parents to Costa Rica, France, Spain , Mexico in addition to Canada.He studied to Trent uninversity (Ontario) where he obtained a degree in philosophy, he speaks french.then he began to write.with « Life of Pi » he was awarded the Man Booker Prize in 2002.

In chapter 5 Patel explains how with his name « Piscine Molitor Patel »choosen by his family, the children made fun of him in his last school in St Joseph’s because of his name : Piscine.So when he arrived in a new school, he decided to choose a nickname : Pi Patel.

We can see in the first part his arriving in his new school and in a second part the fact all the schoollchildren accept his new name and They adopt the fashion that launched Pi to give nicknames to themselves.



The beginning of the extract of Chapter 5 is a return to the past when he was at school in Pondicherry : « I spend my last year at St Joseph’s School… » (l.1/ p 21).Because of the fact he was with bullies schollyard, and he was mocked at school : they told him « pissing », he compares himself to a persecutive prophete « …feeling like the persecuted prophet Muhammad in Mecca … » (l 1-2). We can consider this comparaison as a reference of the fact that he was very believer, in his childreness he asked almost all the Gods: Muslims, Christians and Hindus.

Pi change school and go to the Petit Séminaire. He knows that he will be compared with his brother, a particular famour cricketer so that he was compared with Kapil Dev, a famous Indian Cricketer : « He was the athlete of his generation at Petit Seminair, a fear some bowler and a powerful batter, the captain of the town’s best cricket team, our very own Kapil Dev » (l.9 à 11/ p 21).

So he wants to open new horizons and be distinguished from his brother.When a says « I have a better plan than that, he creates an atmosphere of something important, something that will transform her life.

His plan began « on the very first day of school » (p22/ l.1). He takes a descision in the first day in the very first class : when the teacher asks him, he will go to the board and write his name, then his nickname.He wrote his name and double underlined « Pi » .The words are printed in an other type, they are printed in the same way his writing, it is like is the lectors were in the classroom on the blackboard and then he draws the cercle to illustrate , beause Pi = 3,14 ; it his geometrical, andpi is an irrattional number, scientists trie to understand univers and PI tries the world and trie to find a place in his world.So now, he has choosen a new name : Pi

He had understood that he must repeat this action with all the teachers because like with the animals, to teach somthing to people, to be sure that the lesson to be sure that the lesson enter in the skull, he must repeat and repeat.

We can say that when he has chooses his name, he was very determined, very organized, he knew how do that, he tooch and said how teach



His intervention was received with silence, everybody was astonished « There was silence.The teacher was staring at the board » (p 23/ l.45).

Then all the children and teachers adopted his new name : «l.57 :Between one commonly named… to line 68/68 :Student folowed suit…. » and then , all the students adopted this way in giving themselves a nickname referring to the Greek alphabet who reference to a cliché about Indian : Indian are very good ingenieurs.

We can see that he uses the word « stunt » line 56 : it is a metaphore, it is a new beginnig, now a new life begins to him. He managed to be a little more respect by his brother who had no respect for him: "But he held his peace" (l.87/p24), and had a place in this new school and managed to escape the shadow of his brother, who is like a hero for him because he is very famous and it is difficult to follow in the footsteps of a popular brother.



To conclude, we can say that now, with his ingenuity, Pi has managed to gain a place in a world who revered his brother who was considered asa star. And now he has gained his respect


C'est très urgent ! Je dois le rendre Jeudi















[/size]
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
rowenna



Nombre de messages : 71
Date d'inscription : 20/02/2006

MessageSujet: ok   Mer 10 Déc - 11:38

ok Merci, désolé de m'affoler, je sais qu'il n'y a pas que moi comme élèves à demander de l'aide mais je panique un peu car cette prof est très dure avec moi et je veux essayer de réussir cette année.Je ne peux m'empêcher de m'inquiéter désolée Embarassed
Merci encore Doudou !
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
Doudou



Nombre de messages : 1286
Localisation : New-York
Date d'inscription : 26/12/2005

MessageSujet: Re: commentaire l'histoire de Pi chap 5   Mer 10 Déc - 13:03

The "Life of Pi" was written by Yann Martel .He was born in 1963 in Salamanca, Spain.His parents were Canadian.They first studied at a university in Spain. Later, they worked in the Canadian Foreign Service.Yann Martel travelled with his parents to Costa Rica, France, Spain, and Mexico in addition to Canada. He studied at Trent University in Ontario where he obtained a degree in philosophy. He speaks French. After his studies, he began writing. For writing "Life of Pi", he was awarded the Man Booker Prize in 2002.

In chapter 5 Patel explains how because of his name "Piscine Molitor Patel", which was chosen by his family, children made fun of him at his last school, St Joseph’s, because of his name : Piscine. Cette phrase est trop longue. Plus de mots, plus d'erreurs. So when he arrived at a new school, he decided to choose a nickname: Pi Patel.

In part 1, we see his arrival at his new school and in part 2 the fact that all the schoolchildren accepted his new name and followed suit by choosing nicknames for themselves.

The beginning of the excerpt from Chapter 5 focuses on his return to the past when he was at school in Pondicherry, " I spent my last year at St Joseph’s School…" (l.1/ p 21). Because of the fact he associated with bullies schoolyard, he was mocked at school. They told him to "Piss off!", Cette phrase est presque incompréhensible ! Je suis obligé de deviner. He then compares himself to a persecuted prophet, ... "feeling like the persecuted prophet Muhammad in Mecca …" (l 1-2). We can consider this comparison a reference to the fact that he was a believer. In his childishness, he prayed to almost all of the Gods: Muslims, Christians, and Hindus.

Pi changed schools and went to the Petit Séminaire. He knew he would be compared with his brother who was a particularly famous cricketer; so much so that he was likened to Kapil Dev, a famous Indian cricketer, "He was the athlete of his generation at Petit Séminaire, a fearsome bowler and a powerful batter, the captain of the town’s best cricket team, our very own Kapil Dev." trop longue, trop longue !!!(l.9 à 11/ p 21).

Bon. D'ici à la fin de la rédac, je recopie en corrigeant.

He wanted to open up new horizons and be distinguished from his brother, "I have a better plan than that." So he created an atmosphere of something important, something that would transform his life.

His plan began "on the very first day of school" (p22/l.1). He came to a decision on the first day of his first class. Whenever the teacher sent him to the board, he would write his name followed by his nickname. From then on, he wrote his name double underlining "Pi." He took extra pains to distinguish the spelling of his name from other words. He drew a circle around "Pi" as a way of illustrating that Pi = 3.14 and is an irrational number. He had chosen his nickname in an attempt to find a place in his world and understand the universe just as scientists had been trying to do.

He understood that he must repeat this action in all of his classes because as with animals, repetition is the best way to ensure that people will learn their lesson.

By choosing his name, he demonstrated his determination and revealed how organized he was in teaching people to respect his name.

All the pains he took were received in silence. Everybody was astonished, "There was silence. The teacher was staring at the board" (p23/l.45).

Then all the children and teachers imitated him by nicknaming themselves and using letters of the Greek alphabet to do so, "l.57: Between one commonly named... to line 68/68: Students followed suit." who reference to a cliché about Indian : Indian are very good ingenieurs. incompréhensible !

He uses the word "stunt" in line 56. It represented a metaphor, a new beginning. Now life was starting anew for him. He managed to gain a little more respect from his brother, who originally had had no respect for him, "But he held his peace" (l.87/p24). He succeeded in carving out a niche for himself in his new school, and thus managed to escape from under his brother's shadow who was his hero since he was so famous. It's difficult to follow in the footsteps of a popular brother.

To conclude, we can say that now, as a result of his ingenuity, Pi has managed to gain a place in a world which revered his brother as a star. He also succeeded in gaining his brother's respect.

To conclude, we can say that now, with his ingenuity, Pi has managed to gain a place in a world who revered his brother who was considered as a star. And now he has gained his respect


Plus les phrases sont longues, moins je les comprends.
******************************************
1. Faut respecter les majuscules pour les noms de personnes :: noms de lieux et ainsi de suite.

2. Faut également respecter les règles de la ponctuation.

3. Faut mettre un espace après chaque point final.

4. Faut être conséquent concernant l'emloi des temps verbaux.

A l'avenir, merci de ne plus jamais m'envoyer une rédac tellement longue. Il y a trop d'erreurs à corriger dans ce cas-là.


Dernière édition par Doudou le Mer 10 Déc - 15:13, édité 1 fois
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
rowenna



Nombre de messages : 71
Date d'inscription : 20/02/2006

MessageSujet: merci   Mer 10 Déc - 13:18

merci encore mais j'ai une chose à te dire:

1) je suis desolé pour toutes ces fautes mais j'ai eu peu de temps pour faire le commentaire, donc je me suis un peu empressée et j'ai fais ces fautes

2) désolé que le comentaire soit si long, je sais que ça ta pris du temps et que tu dois aider plein de monde mais c'est ce que nous demande le prof et j'ai donc fait ce qu'il fallait faire et j'ai posté le tout pour avoir ton aide

Mais je suis vraiment désolé de t'avoir agacé avec toutes mes fautes.
Encore désolé et merci d'avoir pris du temps pour m'aider.
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
Doudou



Nombre de messages : 1286
Localisation : New-York
Date d'inscription : 26/12/2005

MessageSujet: Re: commentaire l'histoire de Pi chap 5   Mer 10 Déc - 14:32

J'ai compris. Tu m'as pas agacé, plutôt fatigué.

Par erreur de manip, j'ai omis deux mots :

bullies in the schoolyard

Voilà.

Bonne note.

Ed
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
Contenu sponsorisé




MessageSujet: Re: commentaire l'histoire de Pi chap 5   Aujourd'hui à 6:55

Revenir en haut Aller en bas
 
commentaire l'histoire de Pi chap 5
Voir le sujet précédent Voir le sujet suivant Revenir en haut 
Page 1 sur 1
 Sujets similaires
-
» question sur un commentaire d'histoire du droit
» Commentaire d'Histoire du Droit
» commentaire en histoire du droit
» Sainte Maria Goretti Vierge et martyre, commentaire du jour "Priez le maître de la moisson d'envoyer des ouvriers"
» Le récit de Polly Baker un apologue..?

Permission de ce forum:Vous ne pouvez pas répondre aux sujets dans ce forum
Study Hall :: Devoirs maison :: anglais (grammaire, rédacs courtes, trads courtes}-
Sauter vers: