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 Rédaction correction please !

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phil1988



Nombre de messages : 35
Age : 28
Localisation : Paris
Date d'inscription : 22/10/2006

MessageSujet: Rédaction correction please !   Dim 22 Oct - 12:56

Bonjour, si quelqu'un peut me dire mes erreurs sa serai gentil:

For my part I imagine the world in fifty years with economical and environmental problem. Howover I think there will be huge progress in medecine, astronomy and robotics.

A problem that is often debated nowadays is that of greenhouse effect.
The global warming will be all the more important as time goes by if nobody do nothing.
If humans continuous to cut forest for timber or to have farming lands, if the industries will still emit greenhouse effect gas; we can expect sea level to rise.
Consequently there will be floods, less lands for agriculture and maybe starvation or civil war.

But in fifty years if some people make major part of population aware of nature fragility the world could be safe.
With the technology progress we can hope which we will understand better our planet.
In space, satellite and space station will be more ans more performant to analyse our earth about glacier and forest evolution.
About agriculture the experiments will bring of the production of genitically modified food.
About the life style I think there will be more and more informatics and robots in our life.
Transports will be automatic and will not emit greenhouse effect gas.
But I think the gouvernment lead people into doing careful of nature.
People will should avoir using car but to use public transport. So we must refrain from using our car.

So to sum up, the world could be great if anyone take it's responsibilities.
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Doudou



Nombre de messages : 1286
Localisation : New-York
Date d'inscription : 26/12/2005

MessageSujet: Re: Rédaction correction please !   Dim 22 Oct - 14:29

Salut, Phil.

For my part, I imagine the world in fifty years with economic and environmental problems. However, I think there will be huge progress in medicine, astronomy, and robotics.

A problem that is often debated nowadays is that of the greenhouse effect. Global warming will be all the more important as time goes by if nobody do anything. If humans continue to chop down forest trees for timber or to make room for farm land, and if the industries contribute to the greenhouse effect, we can expect the sea level to rise. Consequently, there will be floods, less land for agriculture, and maybe starvation or civil war.

But in fifty years, if some people can make the world population aware of nature's fragility, the world might be asafer place to live.

With technological advances, we hopefully will understand the needs of our planet better. In space, satellites and space stations will be more help us to understand glacier formation and forest evolution. Agricultural experiments will contribute to the production of genetically modified food. The effect of technology upon our life styles will result in the increase of computer use and robots in our lives. Transportation will be automatic and will not emit greenhouse gases.

I firmly believe that the government will encourage people to be more aware of nature. People should stop using cars and start usings public transportation. So we must refrain from using our cars.

So to sum up, the world would be a better place to live if everyone assumed their responsibilities.




Dernière édition par le Dim 22 Oct - 15:55, édité 2 fois
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phil1988



Nombre de messages : 35
Age : 28
Localisation : Paris
Date d'inscription : 22/10/2006

MessageSujet: Re: Rédaction correction please !   Dim 22 Oct - 14:36

Je te remercie ENORMEMENT !!! cheers Very Happy cheers
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Doudou



Nombre de messages : 1286
Localisation : New-York
Date d'inscription : 26/12/2005

MessageSujet: Re: Rédaction correction please !   Dim 22 Oct - 16:32

You're very welcome, Phil. I'm glad I could help.
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MessageSujet: Re: Rédaction correction please !   Aujourd'hui à 9:04

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