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 correction rédaction 2

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AuteurMessage
phil1988



Nombre de messages : 35
Age : 28
Localisation : Paris
Date d'inscription : 22/10/2006

MessageSujet: correction rédaction 2   Mar 1 Avr - 17:54

Hi, doudou, this a new assignment, can you correct it please ?


Premature birth can have consequences for children. In fact, risks of mortality are
more important for premature infants than for others children. They will have less
children and a mother who is premature has a risk to give birth early.

The researchers say that doctors should take into consideration the premature birth
of a child. About one baby in eight is premature and 17,000 are in intensive care in
UK. If you were born before 37 weeks, you are premature. Besides, a child who was
born between 22 and 27 weeks is a very premature. Also, mortality rates are
increased compared with children born in time. However, teenagers who have
survived at their early pre-terms live as long as the other people. It’s an absolute
value because death is still low. Furthermore, very premature babies have a low
chance of having children.

Parents and doctors should be vigilant not only the first months after the birth but also
during all their growth. The premature have a poor health, so it would be preferable
that they prevent their clinicians. The causes of premature birth can be linked to
stress, gestational diabetes…But, a third of premature birth have no apparent reason.
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Doudou



Nombre de messages : 1289
Localisation : New-York
Date d'inscription : 26/12/2005

MessageSujet: Re: correction rédaction 2   Mar 1 Avr - 21:54

Being born prematurely can have consequences for children. In fact, the risk of mortality is greater for premature infants than for other children. As adults they will have fewer children, and a mother who who was born prematurely also risks the early birth of her baby.

Researchers say that doctors should take into consideration the premature birth of a child. About one baby in eight is premature and 17,000 are in intensive care in the UK. If you were born before the 37th week of pregnancy, you are considered premature. Besides, a child who was born between the 22nd and the 27th week of pregnancy is indeed a very premature infant. Also, mortality rates increase compared with children born at the proper time. However, teenagers who have survived a pre-term birth live as long as other people. It’s an absolute value because death is still low. <- incompréhensible Furthermore, the chances of premature babies having children of their own is very slight.

Parents and doctors should be vigilant not only during the first months after the birth, but also during their entire growth cycle. Premies are generally in poor health, so it would be preferable that they regularly apprise their clinicians of their health. The causes of premature birth include stress and gestational diabetes; but one third of premature births have no apparent cause.

On ne met jamais de virgule après la conjonction but.
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