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 besoin d'une correction SVP

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sarahdu33

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Nombre de messages : 18
Date d'inscription : 26/10/2006

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MessageSujet: besoin d'une correction SVP   besoin d'une correction SVP Icon_minitimeDim 8 Avr - 4:23

bonjour,
dans ce paragraphe je dois donner mon avis sur un livre.

I don't like this novel,
first the hero seems to be doomed, he is always on the road then it's a bit far-fetched for example "comme par magie" when P escapes Iren who had heard his escape, went in searching him and she "recupère" on the road.

But on the other hand, I believe that this hero is engaging, we are forced to stand on his side because he isn't a nasty man, he is just on the fringes of society and that weighs against him.


MERCI D AVANCE
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Doudou

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Nombre de messages : 1293
Localisation : New-York
Date d'inscription : 26/12/2005

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MessageSujet: Re: besoin d'une correction SVP   besoin d'une correction SVP Icon_minitimeDim 8 Avr - 14:30

Bonsoir, Sarah.

I don't like this novel,first the hero seems to be doomed, he is always on the road then it's a bit far-fetched for example "comme par magie" when P escapes Iren who had heard his escape, went in searching him and she "recupère" on the road.
I don't like this novel! First of all, the hero seems to be doomed from the very start. Then, he's always on the road. Furthermore, it seems a bit far-fetched that when P, as if by magic, escapes from Iren who had heard about his escape, goes looking for him and then recaptures him on the road.
But on the other hand, I believe that this hero is engaging, we are forced to stand on his side because he isn't a nasty man, he is just on the fringes of society and that weighs against him.
On the other hand, I found the hero quite engaging. In a way, we're almost forced to be on his side because he isn't an unpleasant person. He just happens to be on the fringes of society, which counts against him.

Ema,

Je te signale les fautes les plus criantes à éviter :

1. L’anglais n’aime pas les longues tirades à la Proust avec plein de subordonnées où l’on perd vite tous les repères.

2. Ne fais pas de phrases trop longues. Deux propositions suffisent amplement.

3. Il faut respecter les majuscules et la ponctuation autant en anglais comme en français.

Ed
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