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phil1988



Nombre de messages : 35
Age : 29
Localisation : Paris
Date d'inscription : 22/10/2006

MessageSujet: Rédaction !   Dim 21 Jan - 9:47

Hi everybody Smile

Peut on me corriger ma rédaction ? :

For my part I think It's an interesting tool to make connections between other people.
Indeed with internet I can meet people who come from everywhere. We can chating like this person is in front of me. Also I can use my webcam to see his face on my screen and use my a head set to hear his voice.

Also if I wish he can sent a picture of him. That's very easy when you have a good subscription. Like this I can download his picture very fast.

To sum up it undeniable true that it's internet is easy accessibility.
When you are wired, any user can transmit a picture or chat with other people.

However, I think we must be aware of danger of internet.
Sometime we can come across somebody who is ill-intentioned.
We can expect this person want to steal money by frightening the child.
So parents must lead their children into being aware of danger of internet even if chated is very glamorous.
So we must wander about the feelings of the speaker.

To sum up, internet could be a very good tool to make friends if it well used.
Somehow, we should be wise and forecast the reactions of the speaker. Maybe he could be insincere and say awful things. Or maybe this person could be lousy and weird but fortunately very nice. cyclops
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Doudou



Nombre de messages : 1289
Localisation : New-York
Date d'inscription : 26/12/2005

MessageSujet: Re: Rédaction !   Dim 21 Jan - 12:09

Hi, Phil.

As usual, my suggested modifications will be in red.
*************************************************
For my part, making online connections with other people is an interesting tool.
In fact, with the Internet, I can meet people who come from everywhere. We can chat as if we were face to face. And I can use my webcam to see his face on my screen and use my a headset to hear his voice.

By the same token, if I want to see what he looks like, he can send me a picture of himself over the Internet. It's very easy when you have a good Internet connection. With a high-speed connection, I can download his picture very fast.

To sum up, it's undeniably true that the Internet provides easy accessibility.
When you are wired, any user can transmit a picture or chat with other people.

However, I think we must be aware of certain dangers in using the Internet. There may be times when we cross paths with somebody who is ill-intentioned. Many predators use chat rooms to lure children into sexual activites with them. So parents must warn their children to be aware of certain dangers on the Internet. They must teach them that no matter how glamorus chat rooms may seem, children must be suspicious of the intentions of the speaker on the other end of the line.

In conclusion, the Internet can be a very good tool for making friends, if it is used properly. Somehow, we must learn how to judge the intentions of the person we're communicating with online.

VOCABULAIRE
by the same token :: de même
high-speed :: à haute vitesse
cross paths with :: rencontrer
lure :: leurrer
be suspicious of :: se méfier de
properly :: comme il faut
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phil1988



Nombre de messages : 35
Age : 29
Localisation : Paris
Date d'inscription : 22/10/2006

MessageSujet: Re: Rédaction !   Lun 22 Jan - 18:16

Super , MERCI pour la correction et l'ajout du vocabulaire c'est vraiment sympas !!!
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Doudou



Nombre de messages : 1289
Localisation : New-York
Date d'inscription : 26/12/2005

MessageSujet: Re: Rédaction !   Lun 22 Jan - 19:30

You're welcome, Phil. I'm glad I could help.
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