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 Fautes d'orthographe...

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peacee



Nombre de messages : 10
Date d'inscription : 08/05/2010

MessageSujet: Fautes d'orthographe...   Mar 1 Fév - 17:51

Bonsoir,
J'ai un devoir en anglais, mais je crains qu'il y ait des fautes d'orthographe. J'ai fait du mieux que j'ai pu, et je voulais vous demander si vous pourriez y jeter un coup d'oeil et me corriger mes fautes.

Dear diary,

Today I spoke at least to Leon to put an end to our friendship, in spite of me . Since this moment, I feel really bad . By this side, leon is more optimistic and he thinks that the hurt is colour blind, but I can’t see the things like him .I have just one desire, is that I don’t exist anymore ….
I keep crying, and when my kids of 8 years, two twin asked me what was happening, I said that I had some dust in the eyes .. I keep thinking about that, it has haunted my mind . I am not pround of mysef, what I did is very meant and heartless, but I cant’t do differently, if it depends only to me, i wouldn’t stop my friendship with him ., but I can put my social status in threat, and my kids could be hit at schools . Besides, I could be dismiss by my boss, and it’s not the moment, with the unemployement of my husband: it’s only me who bring money at home .. I am rebelling, I don’t understand why friendship with a black is a thing unconveivable by the societies so that I risk all this troubles if people would have known that leon is a good friend for me …I would like to live in another time, a time where black and white are on a equal footing, thtat they are deem like all humans on the earth, I wish in the deepest of my heart that one day, this bullshit stop, and that black have the same rights of white .



2) This two stories illustrate well the race relations in the usa in the 50’s and 60’sfor several reasons . Indeed, on the one hand text with Emma and Vanessa, we see that blacks are once more victims of white . Th_s is the 3 men who have provocated and started to annoy Emma, but they haven’t been arrested by policemen whereas they were absolutely wrong . This is emma who has been arrested while she shouldn’t be because she had just defended herself against insults racist . In short she was arrested by policement who to all confess ( pour tout avouer), frankly didn’t try t understand the the fact, that they embarked emma, without none doubt because she is blacks


In the second story, Leon and jenny are friends . Their friendship is deep and real, but it can’t last anymore because being friend with a black is seen like a taboo, a shameful , and she risked lots of troubles, but not only for her, troubles are also for her entourage because her kids could be hit at school… As a result, jenny had to put an end to her friendship, against her volution, by fear to have troubles and to be rejected

Merci d'avançe!
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JRB

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Nombre de messages : 45
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 29/08/2009

MessageSujet: Re: Fautes d'orthographe...   Mer 2 Fév - 6:01

Bonjour,
peacee a écrit:
Bonsoir,

J'ai un devoir en anglais, mais je crains qu'il y ait des fautes d'orthographe. J'ai fait du mieux que j'ai pu, et je voulais vous demander si vous pourriez y jeter un coup d'oeil et me corriger mes fautes.

Dear diary,

Today at least, I have spoken to Leon to put an end to our friendship, in spite of me. Since this moment, I have been feeling really bad. By this side, Leon is more optimistic and he thinks that the hurt wound is colour blind, but I can’t see the things like him. I have just one desire which is that I don’t exist any more…
I keep crying, and when my two 8 year-old twin kids asked me what was happening, I said that I had some dust in the my eyes... I keep thinking about that, it has haunted my mind. I am not proud of mysef, what I did is very mean and heartless, but I cant’t do differently. Nouvelle phrase> If it only depended to on me, I wouldn’t stop my friendship with him, but I can put might jeopardize my social status in threat, and my kids could be hit bullied at school. Besides, I could be dismissed by my boss, and it’s not the right moment with the unemployement of since/because my husband is unemployed: it’s only me I am presently the only one who brings money at home... I am rebelling, I don’t understand why friendship with a black is an inconceivable thing unconveivable by the to societies companies/firms so that I risk to suffer from all this trouble if people would have known knew that Leon is a good friend for me… I would like to live in another time, a time where when blacks and whites are on an equal footing, that when they are deem esteemed like all humans on the Earth. In my deepest being, I wish this bullshit could stop one day, so that blacks can have the same rights of as whites.

NB C'est volontairement que j'ai laissé subsister les fautes les plus graves de manière que tu puisses les comprendre pour ne plus les refaire. C'est ainsi qu'on progresse.
Si le moindre doute persiste, n'hésite pas à questionner.


2) This These two stories illustrate well the race relations in the USA in the 50’s and 60’s for several reasons. Indeed, on the one hand in the text with Emma and Vanessa, we see that blacks are once more the victims of whites. Th_s is The 3 men who have provocated been provocative and started to annoy Emma, but they haven’t been arrested by policemen whereas they were absolutely wrong. This is Emma who has been arrested while she shouldn’t have been because she had just defended herself against racist insults racist. In short she was arrested by policemen who, to all confess ( pour tout avouer), admittedly didn’t frankly try to understand the fact that they embarked undoubtedly cart Emma away without none doubt because she is black.

Même démarche que ci-dessus.


In the second story, Leon and Jenny are friends. Their friendship is deep and real, but it can’t last anymore because being friend with a black is seen like a taboo, a shame, and she risked a lot of trouble, but not only for her, trouble are also for her entourage family circle because her kids could be hit bullied at school… As a result, Jenny had to put an end to her friendship, against her volution will by for fear to of have getting into trouble and to being rejected.

Merci d'avance!
Relis-toi toujours, ne serait-ce que pour mettre systématiquement la majuscule à tous les noms propres et pour veiller aussi à mettre la bonne ponctuation, y compris le point final.
En effet, et malgré la qualité générale de ton analyse, ces omissions peuvent donner une fâcheuse impression de travail bâclé.
Bonne continuation.

_________________
" Carpe diem! "


Dernière édition par JRB le Mar 26 Avr - 3:48, édité 2 fois
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peacee



Nombre de messages : 10
Date d'inscription : 08/05/2010

MessageSujet: Re: Fautes d'orthographe...   Ven 4 Fév - 16:44

Merci pour tout. Very Happy
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JRB

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Nombre de messages : 45
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 29/08/2009

MessageSujet: Re: Fautes d'orthographe...   Sam 5 Fév - 4:23

Avec plaisir. Smile

_________________
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