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 Correction d'un devoir

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AuteurMessage
Brice



Nombre de messages : 7
Date d'inscription : 21/12/2010

MessageSujet: Correction d'un devoir   Dim 16 Jan - 10:25

Bonjour,
En fait, jvoulais vous demander si vous pouvez me corriger mes fautes de mon devoir? Smile
voici mon exos :


1) She was inspered by a painting who represented a necktie party . In this picture, enough shoked, , we can notice on the foreground that two black men who are hung on a tree .We know that they have been lynched just to have looked white women . In this scene , lots of people are having fun, enjoying the moment . They are happy, whereas two men are being died in front of their eyes . What is again more impress is that there is a pregnat woman who is enjoying a scene where two men are losting the life, whereas she i wearing live ! For these personn,this is an entertainment to see a scene of lynching . Besides, at the end of the lynching, they enjoyed take some reast of their body .


2) She was scared people cant' stand her song " i was scared people would hate it " Her fear was because she was not sure of herself, and that she ( craignait? Smile) that her song "was a mistake ". However, she is reassured when people applause her .

3 ) She keep singing it on the one hand because the song was successful " people began to ask for it " and on the other to make realise to everyone that again today,and in spite of all times of persecutions , ill treat, and crimes against blacks, that horrors are still happening in the south.

4)Her father could have been killedby white people by the fact that he is blaks

5)She must refers to the necktie party, times where Blacks were considered as a merchendise, time where they were persecuted . They could be "flageller", get shot outside, ill treat . Roughly, she refers all the crimes done by the humanity against blacks .

6)Everytime she sung, she felt not very good, au point que ? Smile, she needed to isole herself in the bathroom to cry . The song touched her so much that" she get sick". We can think this is because the song make tkink to her pop who could died in the same conditions, or for the same reasons.

7) I thinks that when black heard that song, they understood that this horrors can't happen again, and that they needed freedom

Merci d'avançe!

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JRB



Nombre de messages : 45
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 29/08/2009

MessageSujet: Re: Correction d'un devoir   Lun 17 Jan - 10:23

Bonjour,
Brice a écrit:
Bonjour,
En fait, je voulais vous demander si vous pouvez me corriger mes fautes de mon devoir. Smile
Vu qu'il s'agit d'une interrogation indirecte, la phrase doit se terminer par un point, pas par un point d'interrogation.
Citation :
Voici mon exo :


1) She was inspired by a painting who which represented represents a necktie party.
- Le relatif who ne s'emploie que lorsque l'antécédent est une personne.
- Quelle que soit l'époque où la peinture a été faite, sa qualité de représentation est toujours valable maintenant, elle est permanente =>> temps présent
.
Citation :
In this rather shocking picture, enough shoked, in the foreground, we can notice that two black men who are hung have been hanged on a tree.
- Tu confonds la terminaison passive -ed de l'adjectif avec la terminaison active -ing. C'est comme si tu disais " choqué " au lieu de " choquant ".
- Lorsqu'il a le sens de punition capitale, le verbe hang devient régulier et forme donc ses prétérit et participe passé en -ed.

Citation :
We know that they have been lynched just to have for having/because they/ looked at white women.
- Attention à l'emploi de l'infinitif complet. En anglais, il a toujours le sens du but. Or tu sais bien que ces pauvres bougres n'ont pas été pendus pour regarder des femmes, mais parce qu'ils les ont regardées.
- Souviens-toi que regarder qqn/qqch c'est toujours look at sb/sth.
Citation :
In this scene, lots of people are having fun, enjoying the moment. They are happy, whereas two men are being died dying in front of their eyes. What is again even more impressive is that (there is) a pregnant woman (who) is enjoying a scene where two men are losing their lives, whereas she is wearing carrying life!
Apprends à te servir correctement du dictionnaire. Vérifie toujours, dans la partie anglais-français, que le terme retenu correspond bien au sens recherché, à l'acception voulue.
Citation :
For these personn people, watching a lynching this is an entertainment to see a scene of lynching. Besides, at the end of the lynching, they enjoyed taking some rest of their body.
- Apprends à faire la différence entre " voir = see ", action machinale/involontaire et " regarder = watch ", action volontaire.
- Il vaut mieux ne pas séparer le COD de son verbe.


Citation :
2) She was scared people cant' couldn't stand her song " I was scared people would hate it " Her fear was because She was not sure of herself, she was afraid that her song " was a mistake ". However, she is was reassured when people applauded her .
- Attention à toujours respecter la concordance des temps.
- Efforce-toi d'oublier les constructions du français. Par contre, n'oublie pas que tu écris en anglais !


Citation :
3 ) She kept singing it on the one hand because the song was successful " people began to ask for it " and on the other hand to make everyone realize to everyone that again today and, in spite of all past/ancient times of persecutions, ill-treatments, and crimes against Blacks, that these/such horrors are still happening in the South today.

4)Her father could have been killed by white people by the fact that he is black.

5)She must refer to the necktie party, times where when Blacks were considered as a merchandise, times when they were persecuted.
- Un modal est toujours suivi d'un infinitif sans to.
- Toutes les fois que " " renvoie à une relation de temps, l'anglais emploie " when ", pas " where " qui ne s'emploie que pour une relation de lieu.
Citation :
They could be "flageller" whipped/flogged, get shot outside, ill-treated.
Toutes les fois que tu ignores un mot, fais l'effort de le chercher dans le dictionnaire. C'est également un moyen simple d'enrichir ton vocabulaire.
Citation :
Roughly, she refers to all the crimes done that have been perpetrated by the humanity men against black men.
Il faut être logique ! L'humanité est faite de TOUS les hommes, les jaunes, les noirs, les rouges, les blancs et tous leurs métis !

Citation :
6)Every time she sang, she felt not didn't feel very good well, au point que ? Smile, so that she needed to isolate herself in the bathroom to cry. The song touched her so much that " she got sick". We can think this is because the song made her think to of her pop who could have died in the same conditions, or for the same reasons.
Révise les verbes irréguliers ! C'est très utile, la preuve.
Citation :
7) I think that when Blacks heard that song, they understood that these horrors can't could happen again, and that they needed freedom.
- Sauf erreur, la forme négative de happen est illogique, non ?
- Relis-toi toujours de façon à éliminer les fautes les plus criantes. Elles sont d'autant plus regrettables que ton analyse semble très pertinente. De plus, quand tu passeras examens ou concours, personne ne te relira à ta place.
- Tu traînes pas mal de lacunes grammaticales sur des connaissances de base que je t'invite à combler, par exemple en t'aidant de " Pratique de l'anglais de A à Z " (Hatier).
Bon courage.

Citation :
Merci d'avance!
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Brice



Nombre de messages : 7
Date d'inscription : 21/12/2010

MessageSujet: Re: Correction d'un devoir   Sam 22 Jan - 6:59

Merci beaucoup !
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JRB



Nombre de messages : 45
Localisation : France
Date d'inscription : 29/08/2009

MessageSujet: Re: Correction d'un devoir   Sam 22 Jan - 8:06

Avec plaisir. Smile
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MessageSujet: Re: Correction d'un devoir   Aujourd'hui à 3:40

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